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Today I recalled a moment I had with one of my two sons many years ago.
The moment occurred when he was so small and so innocent.
It was the first time he spoke an intelligible word.
I had just picked him up after changing his diaper.
(Yes, a man can change a dipper.)
I was tickling his tummy and he laughed a laugh that I can still hear to this day.
I reached down to pick him up.
I wanted to hold his little body close to me to let him know that he will always be loved.
As I began bringing him to me he suddenly reached both his arms towards me.
Then while looking right into my eyes he says…
Not “Da-Da”.
He said “Daddy”
The word was crystal clear.
I wasn’t being a delusional parent, assuming that my son is so intelligent.
So advanced that saying ” Daddy ” is expected of him.
And the only surprise…
“he only said it in one language.”
The look he had upon his face as he said it…
Oh that look.
It melted my heart and caused me to weep like a baby.
It was one of the proudest moments in my life.
Well you have to admit that that was a lovely thought.
Recalling that memory certainly made my morning walk much more pleasant.
Unfortunately there is always…
And this story is no different.
Almost immediately after this pleasant memory entered my mind…
another memory replaced it.
That same boy now has nothing to do with me anymore.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in years.
Actually neither of my two sons have anything to do with me anymore.
There was no defined action that caused such a reaction.
No argument.
No disagreement.
All of a sudden…no communication.
None.
They were both in their teens, living with their mother.
She in Massachusetts and I in Florida.
Divorced of course.
Twenty three years, seven months and nineteen days as of today.
I called their house one day many years ago.
There was no answer.
From them.
A message was there though.
The message was from the telephone company.
They were notifying callers that there was no one available at this number anymore.
“No further information was available.” was what I heard next.
I went into a panic mode.
“How could there be no one there at this phone number?”
“This is the phone number of my boys.”
“This is the phone number they have had for years.”
“Even though their mother and I are divorced…they still are my boys.”
“How could there be no one at this number anymore?”
“Oh my God…has something happened to them?”
Many years passed to be exact.
Then out of no where…
One day I received a phone call from my oldest son.
I was stunned.
After several moments of silence on my part only…
His story started to unfold.
There was NO explanation as to why he hadn’t called in so long.
There was NO explanation as to why their phone number had been disconnected.
There was NO explanation why no one called to let me know that they were all okay.
NONE!
But what came next was the real reason for the phone call.
I was truly…
He wanted to borrow money.
When I asked for an explanation as to what had happened years ago.
Why no calls?
His response…
They moved.
My X remarried.
And no one bothered to tell me.
All this time I didn’t know if either of my boys were dead or alive.
But here after years of no communication…a phone call asking for money.
I hung the phone up.
A shiver of cold ran through my body.
For quite a while I sat motionless.
Just sitting, starring off into the distance.
Numb.
This was the same child I held in my arms when he was so young and innocent.
The boys are now thirty seven and thirty nine years old.
So my thought for today has brought…
a smile to my lips…
a tear to my eyes…
a hurt in my heart…
and…
Some times there’s just nothing else you can say.
…for visiting my Blog and reading this Post.
Check out some of my other Posts if you get a chance.
You won’t be disappointed.
Please…
…my Website when you get a chance.
My Blog (where you are now) is where I share with you the stories of my ‘Personal Life’ and my experiences as a ‘Musician’.
My Website is where you will find the ‘Business’ aspects of my ‘Music Career’.
Questions concerning Pricing, Booking, What style music I play, Where I am currently performing can all be answered there.
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Always remember…
No matter where you go…
There you are.
Have you heard from him since that call?
Sadly…no.